Ramblings of a Survivor

I have an impulse that goes farther than desire that motivates me to write about my life: My crazy beautiful life. I have pages and pages of truth already written: dumping, motivational existence, bullshit….and all is rooted with one little thought:

I didn’t go through all this for nothing.

I did NOT experience life as fully as I have, just to simply be silent.

I WILL NOT keep my experience quiet.

I’m working behind the scenes to write my story in pieces – in snippets that are digestable. And in the meantime, I think about vulnerability, and how being vulnerable often means imperfection. I need to write not for publishers, but for YOU, for the people who have read what I have written in just the last two posts and have reached out – for those who know the structure of my story and want more — for those of you who don’t even know me who have read random things I”ve written and said “Yes. that was me – you saw me!”

Writing my story isn’t to simply reach cult survivors – and it also is.

Writing my story won’t be to simply reach domestic abuse and family court survivors – that too.

Writing my story won’t be simply to reach traumatic brain survivors.

We are all survivors.

We all need hope. We all need examples of strength.

I think what i’m coming to grips with is that what I have to write about isn’t a story that can be disseminated down to a this-then-that structure. It’s a weaving of experiences, of relationships, of traumas – things that come in and out and build on each other, creating bigger traumas, bigger healings, and more realistic openings to the existence that we find ourselves in.

I”m going to do my best, but this may be a far bigger project than I ever thought I could put into a film (which i’ve tried to do)……

So bear with me, and please tell me what you want to hear more about.

–doing my best —

Melissa